If you have any good jokes mail them to Sheena at ......ukindia@innotts.co.uk
Where do astronauts park?
At a parking meteor !.
Grandma took Sylvester to the vet one day. "I'm afraid Sylvester has
canary fever," the vet told her.
"Oh, my," Grandma gasped. "Is it serious?"
"No," the vet assured her. "It's tweetable !."
What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?
"ill eagle" is a sick bird.
Where do cows go for entertainment ?
Moooovies .
What exams does Santa Claus take ?
Ho, ho , ho levels .
Why is the Chef mean ?
Because he beats the eggs , mashes the potatoes and whips the cream !
Why dont you see Giraffes in elemenatary school ?
because they are all in high school .
from Darren Genge
Why do men wear gold chains?
So they are worth something !!
First woman: My dog is so clever it rings the door bell when it wants to be let in. Second woman: Whats the point ? I just give mine the key?
A Giant captures an Englishman , a Scot and an Irishman
He tells them he will let them go if they can tell him to do something that he can't otherwise he will eat them.
The Englishman says OK jump across that big lake. OK says the giant and jumps it with ease. Lifts the Englishman and bites his head off , crunch crunch !
Then he turns to the Scot who says lift that huge rock. The Giant does it easily and lifts the Scot , bites his head off -crunch , crunch!
Now he turns to the Irishman who looks at this big Giant for a minute , then spits on the road and says 'Swim in that !'
Why can't dinasurs cross the road?
Because there went any to cross!
sent by tyler age 7
Read you later, Rhonda:)
From: J4KAuj@aol.com
Q. What do you call a blind deer ?
A. No Idea !
A very unpopular man stood for election in a small town in India. He got three votes. For weeks his wife kept nagging him. 'Tell me ' she kept saying 'whose is this third vote !'.
Q.What did St Peter say to the Scot who knocked on the pearly gates of heaven ?
A. Go away ! We cant be bothered to make porridge for one !
Did you hear of the Irishman who when asked the way , thought for a long time and then said
-Well if I were you , I wouldnt start from here !
From Steve Herzfeld
What did the Yogi say to the hotdog vendor in New York?
Make me one with everything.
Why did the Yogi refuse the gift of a vacuum cleaner for his hermitage?
Too many attachments
From Safeen
Q:- What do you call a blind dinasaur?
A:- Doyouthinkhesawrus !
A. Because seven eight nine !
A. I will meet you at the corner !
B. I dont know , how do you ?
A. Two in the front and two in the back . How do you fit four tigers into a mini?
B. I dont know .
A. I just told you.
B.Ok two in the front and two in the back.
A.No its already full.!